Q: Sometime I feel so much stress at work or at home. I start getting so angry and I am not sure what to do with it. What can I do?
A: Sounds to me like you are close to a bit of a miracle. At least for me, stress that is starting to make me angry is a sign that I am ready to take the next step forward. Are you willing to go on a healthy anger rant, and let it all out? I am not talking about hurting someone with your anger. I am suggesting finding time in your car, the kitchen or living room, wherever you can be alone, and just start talking out loud, or even silently, about all that you are angry at. You might need just a few minutes, or maybe an hour. It might feel so good, you will do it a few times. Tell every one that takes you for granted how it feels, tell your kids that they are inconsiderate, tell friends how they have let you down. I love expressing anger in writing, and sometimes I do it silently. Anger is good. It means you have preferences and instincts, and perhaps you have not followed them.
I think, after having released the anger, you will instantly relieve some stress. The thing is, it will probably come back, unless you take the next step. What is that? Well you could do talk therapy (not my favorite), or you could go to a doctor for advice….or you could take baby steps to change. I think most stress that turns to anger is from trying to fit in. For me, when I decided that it was okay if I am a different, and took time to see what I really believed and why, my level of stress dropped considerably. I believe that is because I am more honest about who I am. I am still not very good at telling others when they hurt me, but I am really great about making a choice to not spend time with them, or being honest if I don’t really want to do something. So maybe after your rant, you can admit that you are not this person who loves everyone and everything all the time. Maybe it is okay to like certain things and not others, and even if you can’t always ask for what you want (I have a hard time with this), you can give it to yourself. I very often give myself what I want, and find that I not only love myself for it, I tolerate others better too. You might check out Artie Wu’s or Mastin Kipp’s programs online.