At the end of each calendar year, I choose a word that symbolizes what I want to call in for the next year. It’s a sort of New Year’s resolution practice I adopted a few years ago. Similar to a vision board, I write my word large in the center, and then around it everything else that I want to focus on and accomplish. It’s a way that I remind myself to be intentional, and live from the inside out.
My word for 2019 was OPEN. I found that focusing on the word made me experience a more receptive energy to everything that was happening around me. In choosing that word, I relinquished control. During that year, I challenged myself, had many joyful experiences, pushed myself, was brave, and on December 30th, ended up meeting the love of my life.￼ Yes, after five years of looking, I finally met the man of my dreams.￼ And with that amazing piece of my life puzzle in place, I set out to choose a new word for 2020.
The word that kept coming up for me was Up-Level. After several years of lots of learning about myself and the law of attraction, doing personal growth work and self-awareness practices, and holding myself accountable for my own experiences, I felt that a solid foundation was laid. And it was time to use that foundational knowledge to “propel myself forward” in new ways.￼ Up-Level. Is that even a word?
Then, a pandemic hit. It was mid-March, and almost all of the stores we serve were forced to close. Out of the blue, I was in a fearful fight or flight mode, wondering if I would have to be laid off, and whether I could even meet my financial obligations. It was as if the universe looked at my ‘word’, and said “HA!” But the universe, as always, supported me.
I am so grateful that I was able to use this time to focus on and prioritize the essential: my family and my home. I have spent more time with my two daughters than I ever have. With remote learning, we were all together more, and learning new things. I have been more fully present with my daughters, including having honest conversations with them about the Black Lives Matter protests, and why they are necessary and significant.
We planted a variety of flowers and vegetables in the garden, and created a little oasis on the back patio, to make a lovely new venue in which to shelter in place. My new boyfriend and I have grown extremely close, as have my daughters and he, given the abundance of time we have spent together. He has brought so much new joy into our lives!
This virus has been a nightmare for many, and I don’t want to discount anyone’s experiences. I simply see how this experience in my own life has been a bittersweet blessing. Lots of plans and fun activities were canceled. Yet, this was an opportunity to be right here right now, mindful of what is truly important to me. I also see how the virus affecting the global community has shown me in a real way that we are all connected, and we need each other. I am grateful for that too.
My experience of 2020 so far has really helped me realize that “Up-leveling” just isn’t that important to me. Looking at it now, writing that word assumed that being here now wasn’t enough. Now I know for sure that it is.